Article Archives
Care for aging parents - A planning guide to holding a family meeting.
Life is a guessing game and it doesn’t become any more certain as we get older. How much money do I need to live on? Should I give some of my wealth away to my children now to avoid estate or probate taxes? Will I need medical care as I get older? And last but not least, how long will I live? These are some of the questions we have.
Not only do my clients who are in their early 50s and 60s need to make educated guesses on these matters, but their parents in their 70s, 80s and 90s are facing the same questions. People are living to an older age. Families need to be brought together before a crisis situation occurs to plan for these life transitions. How many people list their parents’ health as a potential financial liability? Most simply don’t think about it. According to a 1998 report prepared by the Canadian Council for the Aging and Seniors for Health Canada, about 20% of seniors age 75 to 79 need help with meal preparation, grocery shopping, housework and personal care. That rate increases to 40% for those 80 years of age or older.
It is far better to manage both financial affairs and personal care issues if they are discussed before hand. On many occasions, I have met with adult children who bring in bundles of their parents’ papers and documents when the parents are no longer able to explain their affairs. Sometimes they simply throw up their hands and say, “I just don’t know where to start.” It can be much simpler if the family gets together before their parents are unable to make sound decisions.
Often financial planners can be of great assistance, offering their expertise in financial matters and acting as an independent party to determine the wishes of everybody. Sometimes this may require private meetings with the children and then with the parents before the family meeting. This allows the wishes of each party to be discussed on a confidential, non-judgmental basis. Elder parents may have visions of living independently but adult children may be concerned about their safety. Discussions regarding money can often be a very difficult subject to discuss and so individual meetings can air these concerns without the emotional charge that may occur during a family meeting.
At the family meeting it is good to consider several contingency plans. Some questions to consider are: What if the parents want to live on their own for a long period of time? What if one or the other parent should die? What if one or the other should have a long-term illness? The family should discuss not only the adequacy of the assets, but how they want to live as they get older and how they want to be treated in the case of a terminal illness. As can be expected, these meetings are saturated with many emotional minefields. Far too many families avoid the problems until a crisis occurs. There is no better way to set a model for your children than to display how you want to be treated as you age and to help your parents’ plan ahead with the respect and dignity they deserve.
Joyce Smith is president of JA Smith & Associates Inc. Certified General Accountants and Certified Financial Planners. The firm offers financial and tax planning advice for both individuals and business.
Wondering how to get started? 
